Now, there's tons of info on raising 'smart' and 'successful kids', but how do we raise 'happy kids'?????
Sometimes it's hard to balance what's best for children with what makes them happy - but the two don't have to be mutually exclusive.
I have a young brother who is very naughty (in my own opinion, sometimes) =D
But, he's also quiet kind. Sometimes, he's like an angel who created only for me. I just think simply "the boys were being created for protecting women", even a child.
This article may can help your problem to treat your child to be happiness child and build the good character as well. ;-)
"Happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that emphasize performance. On average, happy people are more successful that unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries. They are more likely to get married and once married, they are more satisfied."There are 10 steps How To Raise Happy Kids
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| happier to go to school |
1. Get Happy Yourself
žHow happy you are affects how happy and successful your kids are — dramatically.
“Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.”
žSo
what’s the first step to being a happier you? Take some time each week to have
fun with friends.
“Because
laughter is contagious, hang out with
friends or family members who are likely to be laughing themselves. Their
laughter will get you laughing too, although it doesn’t even need to in order
to lighten your mood. Neuro scientists believe that hearing another person laugh
triggers mirror neurons in a region of the brain that makes listeners feel as
though they are actually laughing themselves.”
2. Teach Them To Build Relationship
žIt doesn’t
take a lot. It can start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of
kindness to build empathy.
žThis not only
builds essential skills and makes your kids better people, research shows
over the long haul it makes them happier.
“Multiple sclerosis (MS) patients who were trained to
provide compassionate, unconditional positive regard for other MS sufferers
through monthly fifteen-minute telephone calls “showed pronounced improvement
in self-confidence, self-esteem, depression, and role functioning” over two
years. These helpers were especially protected against depression and anxiety.”
3. Expert Effort, Not Perfection
žRelentlessly banging the
achievement drum messes kids up.
“Parents who
overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of
depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids.”
žThe research is very consistent: Praise effort, not
natural ability.
“The majority of the kids praised for their
intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren’t going to risk making a
mistake and losing their status as “smart.” On the other hand, more than 90
percent of growth mind-set-encouraged kids chose a harder puzzle.”
4. Teach Optimism
Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Then teach those pre-teens to look on the bright side.
“Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty.”
žAuthor Christine Carter puts it simply: “Optimism is so closely related to happiness that the two can practically be equated.” She compares optimists to pessimists and finds optimists:
1.Are more successful at school, work and athletics.
2.Are healthier and live longer.
3.End up more satisfied with their marriages.
4.Are less likely to deal with depression and anxiety.
5. Teach Emotional Intelligent
žA simple first step here is to “Empathize, Label and Validate” when they’re struggling with anger or frustration.
žThinking kids will just “naturally” come to understand their own emotions (let alone those of others) doesn’t set them up for success.
“Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait.”
6. Form Happiness Habit
žHow do you help kids build lasting happiness habits? Carter explains a few powerful methods backed by research:
1) Stimulus removal: Get distractions and temptations out of the way.
2) Make It Public: Establish goals to increase social support — and social pressure.
3) One Goal At A Time: Too many goals overwhelms willpower, especially for kids. Solidify one habit before adding another.
4) Keep At It: Don’t expect perfection immediately. It takes time. There will be relapses. That’s normal. Keep reinforcing.
7. Teach Self-Discipline
žSelf-discipline in
kids is more predictive of future success than intelligence — or most anything
else, for that matter. Yes, it’s that famous marshmallow test all over again. Kids who better
resisted temptation went on to much better lives years later and were happier.
žWhat’s
a good way to start teaching self-discipline? Help kids learn to distract
themselves from temptation.
ž
“One
way to do it is to obscure the temptation–to physically cover up the tempting
marshmallow. When a reward is covered up, 75 percent of kids in one study were
able to wait a full fifteen minutes for the second marshmallow; none of the
kids was able to wait this long when the reward was visible.”
8. More Playing Time
“Most kids
already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they
play. but kids today spend less time playing both indoors and out… All told,
over the last two decades, children have lost eight hours per week of free,
unstructured, and spontaneous play…”
9. Rig Their Environment For Happiness
žWhat’s a simple way to better
control a child’s surroundings and let your deliberate happiness efforts have
maximum effect?
"Less TV"
10. Eat Dinner Together
žžThis
simple tradition helps mold better kids and makes them happier too.
“Studies show that kids who eat
dinner with their families on a regular basis are more emotionally stable and
less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They got better grades. they have fewer
depressive symptoms, particularly among adolescent girls. And they are less
likely to become obese or have an eating disorder. Family dinners even trump
reading to your kids in terms of preparing them for school. And these
associations hold even after researchers control for family connectedness…”
Good Luck for trying =D
-Reference : Barker Eric (April 2014), How To Raise Happy Kids. Time Magazine.
